Why can some people calmly and systematically solve problems while you are extremely anxious, and easily make mistakes when you are in a hurry? Because you are particularly afraid of conflict, and your only hope regarding this conflict is to get through it quickly, to escape it as soon as possible. So when you are anxious, you are not actually focusing on the situation but are trapped in a state of fear and panic about the conflict. So why are we so afraid? Behind conflicts, there are often two reasons. First, your desire for control over the world is stronger than that of others; what seems like a small loss of control in the eyes of others feels huge to you, and you are very afraid, which makes you want to escape. This often stems from your childhood, where your upbringing did not allow for a loss of control. If your family faced even a small problem, your parents would become very unstable. Or if you had any issues, if you were naughty or made mistakes, their reactions would be very intense. This leads you to be much more sensitive to even slight instability than others, putting you in a very anxious and panicked state. The second point is that your own level of trust is very low; those who can solve problems steadily and slowly believe in their own abilities, so they can take their time. However, your thoughts are filled with dread, thinking that the problem is too big, that you might shatter like glass, and that you are facing a huge disaster. You have very little trust in yourself to handle this problem, which often stems from past experiences of others not trusting you. Even if you do well, the feedback you receive is still not good enough, still negative. Therefore, when you do something, you are more worried about yourself than trusting yourself. In summary, being anxious means that you do not accept yourself and you do not accept this uncontrollable world. So what should you do in this situation? One of the most important points is to practice your ability to stay in the conflict. This means staying in this emotion for a while and thinking about what will really happen. This process is about clearing the fog to see the real world, but you always skip it because you immediately take action. So be prepared for the next time something goes wrong or you feel anxious; first tell yourself to pause for a moment, just pause for one minute or two minutes. Then you will find that after just one or two minutes, the childhood stress response will have subsided. At that point, you can use your eyes to see and your heart to feel what the problem really is, and that is when you will be more efficient.