"Spoiling" is actually a lie invented by Chinese parents. The reason you find yourself in a difficult situation as an adult is that your parents can argue they have no responsibility at all. Even if they admit some responsibility, it’s only because they say they were "too good to you." But this is complete nonsense. In our culture, individual self-expression has never been encouraged. As a result, we often grow up to be incomplete individuals, which also leads us to first ask not "What responsibility do I have?" but rather "Whose fault is this?" People without an independent self cannot take responsibility. They are more accustomed to shifting the responsibility onto others. Parents, on the other hand, will use various complex reasons to tell you why you should listen to them. But at the end of the day, it’s simply about wanting you to obey. When you question them, "Why must I listen to you?" parents will say, "Because I am your parent." But why is that? Just because you are my parent, must I listen to you? This reasoning fundamentally does not hold water. Yet we often cannot argue against them, and in the end, we can only “resolve” the issue through arguments or violence. A person with a real self centers around their own feelings, and their starting point for action is "How do I feel?" Such individuals live with vitality and direction, and their inner self is relatively at ease. Conversely, those who constantly center on the feelings of others and are always taking care of others' feelings will gradually lose themselves. This is called a "false self." When you live with a false self for too long, you may even feel that life is meaningless.